What is this Non-violent Communication that so many talk about these days? I’m not a violent person and communicate okay, thank you very much. What do I want with that stuff?

In this blog post, you’ll get a concise overview of the most important aspects of Non-violent Communication. For more details and practical examples, check out my podcast and website at "Inspiration & Ideas“.

Non-violent Communication (NVC) is an approach developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg, which is essentially about being appreciative and mindful when dealing with yourself and others. It is about assuming responsibility for your own feelings and needs. To do so, it is important to acknowledge all feelings without evaluating them and appreciate them as mere indicators, i.e. something like warning lights that point us to our needs. When needs are identified and communicated clearly, the next steps is to develop strategies to fulfil the needs of all those involved. NVC can therefore also be used as a tool to resolve conflicts.

Below you will find answers to additional NVC-related questions:

• What does ‘Non-violent’ mean?
  ‘Non-violent’ means that we don’t force anyone to ignore their needs – not us, nor others.
• When using NVC, must I always use ‘soft’ talk and strictly positive language?
  No, not at all! NVC is about showing yourself in an authentic manner and giving room to all there is. There’s no such thing as ‘positive’ in NVC, as the goal is to make no judgment.
• Is NVC about making compromises all the time?
  No, NVC is not about compromises but about entirely new solutions (= strategies), which take into account the needs of all those involved.
• What if I don’t have time to practice?
  If you do not want to set aside designated times to practice NVC, let life be your teacher. Every day offers numerous moments and situations that provide opportunities for growth.
• How can I get started? What’s a good first step?
  It is helpful initially to practice being observant and mindful. For example, you could ask yourself from time to time: ‘How do I talk to myself? What are my inner voices saying in specific situations?’
• What’s the potential of NVC?
  NVC brings you in connection with yourself and the people around you and makes everyday life easier because it provides more clarity. Working on yourself will put you in a position to take better care of yourself, recognise inner resistance sooner and more readily and thus set boundaries that serve the relationships with yourself and others.
• What causes conflicts?
  Conflicts are not based on different needs but different strategies used to fulfil our needs. Finding new strategies will help you solve conflicts.
• Does NVC also work on people who’re not familiar with it?
  As NVC is about working on yourself and your attitude, it also works when dealing with people who don’t use it.

If you are curious and would like to explore Non-violent Communication for yourself, I recommend searching for introductory courses or information events near you. You’ll also get a first idea listening to my podcast. For other general information, go to https://www.gfk-info.de/. Feel free to contact me if you have any further questions!